i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
