You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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