make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
