Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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