Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
