This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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