Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
