Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Michael Bay diarrhea
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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