Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i now understand why vodka
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
