awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
