It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
