Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
