my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
