"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
