So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
