Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
