I just saw a hot homeless man
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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