i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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