90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
