first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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