don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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