K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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