So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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