So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I want to walk on stilts...naked
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
