She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
