two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
