i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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