i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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