Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
