just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
