first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
