Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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