Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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