Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
