If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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