I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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