i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
