okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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