Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
