literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize