I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize