That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
