what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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