My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
