You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
