is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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