so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
