I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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