when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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