Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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