Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
